Coaches telling kids not to go to other club tryouts

Discussion in 'NorCal Scene' started by sf dad, May 15, 2018.

  1. sf dad

    sf dad New Member

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    I have now heard of 3 clubs telling kids not to go to other club tryouts. SF United, SF Aftershocks, and North Marin. If anyone from these clubs thinks this is false, please speak up. There is only 1 club in SF that has entry to girls NPL and these other clubs are doing these kids a major disservice by telling their players not to go. Good luck to your selfish clubs playing Silver and Gold. Way to hurt the kids that pay your living.
    Last edited: May 15, 2018
  2. soccerislife

    soccerislife Active Member

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    How does a club do this when it’s open tryout period?? Sure a club can say if you go, you’re spot is gone but that’s all. Also, what club is going to tell kids “hey, please go tryout for all the other clubs”. They will try to keep their kids if they value them.
  3. sf dad

    sf dad New Member

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    You are probably right. I just find it upsetting that the tryouts didn’t have all the best girls around but at the end of the day, the parents enable this behavior by going along with it. If one of my daughters coaches told us something like that we would be gone.
  4. soccerislife

    soccerislife Active Member

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    I don't know situations too well in SF with the smaller clubs but many reasons for kids to stay put and often it's not soccer related. Driving, friends, money, etc.

    I agree. Let kids tryout elsewhere and make their decision. If I was a coach, I'd want to know if and where they are trying out. Outside of that, free game!
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  5. psyclone

    psyclone Member

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    Any club that says this is a club you need to run away from.

    It hurts a team for a player to leave, especially a good one. But this is about the kids, not the clubs, not the coaches, and any coach or club who doesn't understand that isn't one you want coaching your kid.
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  6. I'mBored

    I'mBored Member

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    I agree that this is a horrible practice and just proves it is all about $ for that club. Clubs should instead be honest with players -- if a player has grown beyond the team and could play at a higher level, then the coach and club should not only support, but encourage this player trying to find a better opportunity. I've only heard of one club that actually does that.

    It often gets quite petty -- recently heard of a club moving practices to the times their "competitor" club has tryouts and telling players that the practices were mandatory and players would get in huge trouble if they didn't attend. Not sure what that trouble would be, but not many kids/families would have the guts to find out with no guarantee on the other side.
  7. EastGroveCoach

    EastGroveCoach Member

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    A good coach will grade himself on how many players want to return to their team.

    A good coach will also inspire players to make a stronger team for the best interest of the player.

    A good coach will have a resume that shows players churn rate. It will also list players that moved to strong teams for development.

    What does your coach have?
  8. MrSmith

    MrSmith Member

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    Thorns/Force definitely do it ... My daughter was told there would be repercussions "if she was older" after attending a tryout during a tryout window. Then the coach pulled my daughter aside after a "team" meeting about attending other club tryouts (where he told the team there would be repercussions and indicated that two girls had gone to another clubs tryouts) and grilled her about it and why she went, when we (the parents) were not around. Needless to say we got out of there.

    Other clubs simply do a sign up before tryouts to "keep your spot". Total passive aggressive pressure with the implication that unless you sign up before tryouts you put your "spot" up for grabs.
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  9. i_am_taxed

    i_am_taxed Member

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    How did the coach know your daughter attended tryout?
  10. EastGroveCoach

    EastGroveCoach Member

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    Parent - "we decided to decline your offer for our kid as we accepted an offer for another club"

    Director - "you guys are making a big mistake"

    Parent - "well we ultimately left it up for the kid to decide where they want to play next season and they choose the other club"

    Director - "well then can I speak with your child?"

    Actual conversation about a kid that will STILL be in elementary school next year.
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  11. MrSmith

    MrSmith Member

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    Never actually found out. Either talk by parents make it back to coaches or a coach who was moving clubs passed on the info. We did not speak to anyone on the team (not appropriate) and not had we made any decisions about the future. In the end the incident revealed a lot so it was helpful, painful but helpful.
  12. beechwood

    beechwood New Member

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    Except for a select few these clubs are run as businesses. We are the customers to these clubs. Can’t think of any other industry where customers are threatened or blackmailed like this. Let’s not forgot that we are here for our kids to play soccer wherever we think is best for them and not to line the pockets of these shady clubs/coaches.
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  13. Myfeethurt

    Myfeethurt New Member

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    I have often wondered what business could survive with the communication skills most clubs have. Speak up in the wrong way and be prepared to reap the consequences.
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  14. sf dad

    sf dad New Member

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    So I had a long talk about this topic with one of the founders of a club that does NOT pull these shenanigans. He reminded me that there is no real money in coaching soccer in the big picture at this level. He felt that in all the years he has been involved that it comes down to the coaches ego. My team wins games... I really wish this country gave coaches and clubs more to shoot for like "my player from u12 plays for the Earthquakes now and my club received a $120k check in compensation....". Oh wait, FIFA rules say that already.
  15. TJsoccer

    TJsoccer Well-Known Member

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    Coaches only have the control that you let them have. These guys aren't in it to get rich. They do it because they have a passion for the sport and a passion to help kids play it. In my experience, if you show them healthy respect for their effort they will reciprocate with respect for you and your decisions.

    To many parents worship coaches them until they hate their guts. Its like some twisted Madonna-Whore complex. Or Stockholm syndrome in reverse or something. Parents spend the year kissing dudes ass and then feel disrespected when they get shit on their face.

    There are a lot of coaches that walk that line between "professional pride" and inflated ego. But yelling loudly about everything is part of the job description...as is a competitive nature. To keep that up, you have to be wired to run hot. But they do actually feel bad when a kid leaves a team. They take it personally. They are selling themselves, and its hard not to feel the rejection...its just human nature.

    I had to find a new team for my kid this year and the coach of the first tryout told us he preferred we didn't go to the next one. I told him I understood (he is trying to fill his team, and by not accepting we were keeping another family in limbo...as well as making his weekend longer). But we wanted to see if the other spot was a better fit. Within an hour of the second tryout, we let both coaches know the decision.
  16. sf dad

    sf dad New Member

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    Per the girls rumor mill, one girl said her coach would bench any player that he found out had gone to tryouts at another club. Another coach said they would get kicked off the team. If any parents are doing research on these clubs, be forewarned. They don't care about your kid.
  17. psyclone

    psyclone Member

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    In the US, the only way that a pro-club should play an amateur club money in any way would be if the amateur club had a contract with the player and owned playing rights.

    Families pay clubs for the training, not the other way around.

    The clubs don't own the players. Period. Changing that would require some serious legal wrangling.
    And it would be a horrible, horrible idea.
  18. sf dad

    sf dad New Member

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    The point of this post is that the clubs are behaving like they own the players. My point is that the motivation of these coaches is ego based on winning games at a very young age. FIFA’s rules don’t limit where a kid played. US Soccer decided that they would defy FIFA rules. The rest of the world follows these rules.

    From FIFA: “
    On registering as a professional for the first time, the club with which the player is registered is responsible for paying training compensation within 30 days of registration to every club with which the player has previously been registered (in accordance with the players’ career history as provided in the player passport) and that has contributed to his training starting from the season of his 12th birthday. The amount payable is calculated on a pro rata basis according to the period of training that the player spent with each club. In the case of subsequent transfers of the professional, training compensation will only be owed to his former club for the time he was effectively trained by that club.
    In both of the above cases, the deadline for payment of training compensation is 30 days following the registration of the professional with the new association.
    If a link between the professional and any of the clubs that trained him cannot be established, or if those clubs do not make themselves known within 18 months of the player’s first registration as a professional, the training compensation shall be paid to the association(s) of the country (or countries) where the professional was trained. This compensation shall be reserved for youth football development programmes at the association(s) in question.”

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